Mourning customs and laws

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Death at home:
a doctor must be invited to the home to determine the death and prepare a death certificate.

  • In the event that an unnatural death is suspected, a police permit must be obtained before the burial.
  • You must contact the Ministry of Health with a death certificate in three copies, a police certificate and an identity card of the deceased in order to obtain a burial license.
  • You should contact the nearest Kadisha company with all the above documents to coordinate the funeral date.
  • Death in the hospital: the identity card of the deceased must be prepared in order to receive a death certificate from the hospital.

In case of death following an accident, etc.: you must have a police permit.

  • You must contact the Ministry of Health for the purpose of issuing a burial license along with a signed death certificate in three copies for the identification of the deceased.
  • Along with the above documents, contact the nearest Kadisha company to coordinate the funeral date.
  • The immediate family has the right to object to the post-mortem.
  • The instructions of the National Insurance Institute:

burial:
- The burial in Israel in the following cases is free of charge:

  • A resident of Israel, who died in Israel, and was buried in his place of residence.
  • A resident of Israel, who died abroad, and was buried in his place of residence in Israel.

- The financing of the expenses of the burial day is transferred to the Kadisha company by the National Insurance Institute. - According to the law in the following cases the burial company can charge a fee:

  • Purchase of a grave plot while alive (according to the rates established by law. It should be noted that the rate differs from place to place).
  • Burial in an unusual plot (a plot approved in advance by the National Insurance Institute as an exception).
  • A resident of Israel who died and his family wishes to be buried outside his place of residence.

Mourning laws and customs:

Below are some of the mourning policies and customs used by most of the Israeli sects.
The members of the deceased's family to whom mourning laws apply are: father, mother, children, brother, sister, husband and wife.
After the death, a soul candle is lit in the house where the mourners sit "seven".

  • It should be taken into account that in the cemetery during the burial, a tear is torn in the front of the upper garment, which the mourner wears. This garment is customarily not removed until the end of the "seven" days.
  • From the time of the death until the funeral, the mourning laws apply to the mourners - the mourner is exempt from the mitzvot he did until the burial.
  • After the burial, these are the things that mourning is forbidden during the seven days of mourning: work, washing and ironing, putting on shoes, married life, Talmud Torah, asking for peace, washing clothes and wearing them, sitting on a chair and bench, getting a haircut and shaving, leaving the house, participating in celebrations.
  • The mourners returning from the funeral usually sit for Shabbat in the house of the deceased in a place lower than their usual place of residence.
  • It is customary for the neighbors to prepare a meal for the mourners upon their return from the funeral, this meal is called a recovery meal.
  • It is customary to say Kaddish for the deceased during the year of mourning from the day of death.
  • At the end of the "seven" a tombstone must be ordered. Since the preparation of the headstone is a lengthy process, the headstone must be ready to cover the grave on the thirtieth day. It is customary to go up on this day for the "tombstone unveiling" ceremony.

Mourning customs until burial:

  • All the relatives of the deceased who owe Shiva mourning are called onanim from the time of death until after the burial.
  • The onan is exempt from all the mitzvot because he is preoccupied with the needs of the dead and his burial, and also with respect to the honor of the dead that he should not be seen as someone who is distracted from him and therefore does not recite the Shema and does not pray and does not put on tefillin, does not join the ten for the minyan and the prayer and the saying of the Kaddish, and if he is a priest he does not lift his hands.
  • When eating a mouthful, he takes his hands and does not bless "for taking hands", and also does not bless the blessing of "the bearer" before eating nor the "blessing of the food" after it, and also does not bless a blessing when eating other things.
  • He does not say the blessing "Asher Yitzer" after defecating, nor does he answer "Amen" when hearing a blessing or Kaddish.
  • When he arrives at the cemetery, he does not say the blessing "Who created you in justice".
  • Haonan says Kaddish during a funeral.
  • There are mourning customs that are practiced even when he is masturbating, and there are customs that are practiced only at the end of the connoisseurship.
  • The masturbator is prohibited from eating meat and drinking wine, and also does not bathe, and also does not apply oil and ointments on his body except when there is a medical need for it, and also does not cut or shave.
  • You should not participate in the joys and it is not allowed in married life.
  • It is forbidden in the Talmud Torah to ask for the peace of a person, it is permissible to say psalms in front of the deceased.
  • It is permissible to leave his house to attend to the needs of the deceased, and it is also permissible to wear his shoes.
  • Onan in another city: Onan who is in a different city from the place of the funeral and burial, a rabbi should be consulted if he practices the laws of Aninot and when the mourning should begin.
  • Impurity of the priest A priest must not defile the dead, that is, approach within four cubits of the place of the dead, or enter a house where a dead person is found.
  • If the deceased is one of seven relatives, the priest is permitted and commanded to defile himself.
  • The seven closest are: his father, mother, son and daughter, brother, sister and wife. The priest is only defiled when the dead is whole, but if something is missing from him it is forbidden to be defiled.
  • Even if what is missing is placed on its side or sewn up and attached to the body, therefore if an operation was performed after death, his priestly relatives must not defile him.
  • It is permissible for him to accompany the deceased who is his relative to the grave if there are no graves on the way within D'Emot.

tearing

  • All the relatives are obliged to mourn the dead for seven days and must mourn for him.
  • First the blessing: "Blessed are you, O Lord, the King of the world, the judge of truth."
  • Before tearing, it is permissible to change one's clothes and wear simple clothes in order to tear them.
  • You have to tear while standing, and if you tear while sitting you have to go back and tear while standing.

Place of tearing:

  • For all relatives, it is customary to tear the upper garment on the right side, and for parents, it is customary to tear all their clothes on the left side, and if the changer does not delay.

Tearing time:

  • There are communities that tear during the funeral, and there are communities that tear during the burial.
  • During the days of Shabbat, one should not change his clothes that have been torn, and where it is necessary to change, it is allowed, except for tearing on parents.
  • Mourning parents - who changes clothes must tear the clothes he changed.
  • If he did not tear at the time of the funeral, he tears within the seven days, and after the seven days he does not have to tear again.

Saturday and holiday:

  • On Shabbat and Yom Tov it is forbidden to tear, on the holy day it depends on the custom of the communities, but you have to say the blessing of Dayan the truth.

Fusion of the rupture:

  • For all relatives, it is allowed after seven to sew up the place of the tear with a pin, and it is also allowed to be sewn with an uneven stitch, and after thirty, it is allowed to be sewn as usual, for parents, it is allowed to join it with a pin or to be sewn with a non-straight stitch only after thirty, and to sew as usual is never allowed.
  • Women usually fasten the place of the tear with a pin or an uneven stitch immediately after tearing, even when they tore on parents, out of modesty.
  • The funeral is a commandment to accompany the dead and it is in general a commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself" and from the things that a person eats the fruits of in this world and the foundation exists in the world to come.
  • Everything must be done to bring the dead for burial on the same day.

When escorting the dead:

  • It is customary to say the chapters of the Psalms, and especially Psalm 11 "You sit in the highest secret" and at the funeral of a woman they also say chapter 31 of Proverbs "A woman of valor", among the Mizrahi denominations it is also customary to say "Please by the power of 20", "And who is God like you".
  • At the time of the funeral, it is customary to give charity for the ascension of the soul of the deceased and to say: I am giving this charity for the benefit of the soul that God will save from all calamities and will be able to rise to the glory of the righteous.
  • Some people practice when they pass by a synagogue with the deceased, they stand with the bed, and say the Mishnah "Akabia ben Mahalalel says" (PG Davot) and two verses from the justification of the law "Haszur Tamim, etc.", Gedol Atza and Rav Alilah, etc." Then the sons say or other relatives Kaddish.

On the day of the burial:

  • After the burial and sealing of the Gollel, they say "Zidok Hadin", on days in which no supplication is said or when the burial is at night, no one is said, and after that they say "The Great Kaddish". After saying the Kaddish, four dead bodies are moved away from the graves, and the accompanying people stand in two rows, and the mourner takes off his shoes and passes between the rows, and those standing in the rows comfort him and say: "The place will comfort you (many say you) among the rest of the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem", even at a funeral on Hol Moed they make a line Only the grief does not get out of its shoes.
  • When returning from the funeral procession, they tear up dirt and grass and throw it behind saying: "Remember that we are dirt", and then wash their hands and do not wipe them.
  • It is customary that the person who finished bathing does not immediately take the dish for taking, only the person who finished there turns the dish upside down and the other takes it.
  • It is customary to accompany the mourners from the cemetery to their homes. Recovery meal It is customary for the neighbors to prepare the first meal after the burial for the mourner upon his return from the cemetery.
  • It is customary to prepare round bread and hard-boiled eggs for the meal.
  • On the eve of Shabbat and on Yom Tov after nine temporary hours, and on the eve of Pesach from the time of the prohibition of eating leavened food, no healing meal is eaten, and in mourning there is no food until nightfall.
  • On Hol HaMoed and Purim, you eat a recovery meal while sitting on regular chairs, and you don't eat hard-boiled eggs, only various foods and coffee and the like.

Mourning laws after the deceased has been buried:

  • The "haninot" ends and the "mourning" begins, and from this date thirty-seven and twelve months are counted.
  • If the deceased was buried immediately after sunset (up to thirteen and a half minutes) it is still possible to consider that day as a mourning service.
  • After this time, the number of mourners begins only the next day.
  • If a relative of the deceased is not in town at the time of the funeral and burial, a rabbi should be consulted as to when he should begin mourning.
  • Whom do you mourn: You mourn a child, parents, brother, sister, husband and wife. A baby less than thirty days old who dies is not mourned.

craft:

Do not do crafts and deal with goods, except for household chores such as baking and cooking, washing dishes and cleaning the house.
When a rabbi has a shop or a business, they should be closed all seven days, and if he has a partner and by closing the business the partner will suffer a loss, a rabbi should be consulted about possible ways to open a business.

Washing and oiling:

  • The whole body should not be washed in cold water either, the face, hands and feet are allowed only in cold water, for medical purposes at the doctor's order, it is allowed to bathe in hot water even in a patient who is not in danger.
  • A woman who happens to be baptized during her days of mourning is not allowed to be baptized, but is also allowed to bathe in hot water in the places necessary to wear white clothes to count seven clean.
  • One should not anoint one's body with oil or ointment for the purpose of pleasure, but to transfer the sweat or for the purpose of medicine is allowed.
  • A woman must not wear make-up for the entire thirty, except for a married woman after seven.
  • A bride during the first month of her marriage to a matchmaker is allowed to wear make-up even during the shiva.

Locking shoes:

  • Do not wear leather shoes, but rubber (tennis shoes) or cloth shoes if they do not have any part of leather allowed.

marital life:

  • Mourning is forbidden during the seven days including Shabbat in married life, and it should also be stricter in other fights such as hugging and kissing and sleeping in the same bed.

Talmud Torah:

  • One should not read the Torah, Nakh Mishna Gemara Halkhot and Aggadot during the entire seven days including Shabbat, except for the book of Job's Lamentation and the like.
  • Of course, it is permissible to study mourning laws and moral books.
  • Psalms if one is used to saying them every day is permissible when they are said in the way of a prayer and a request.

hello question:

  • One should not say hello to any person during the seven days, and if a person who does not know that he is mourning asks if he is safe, during the first three days of mourning he should not be answered, only let him know that he is not allowed to answer, and after the three days he is allowed to answer.
  • It is permissible for the mourner to wish his friend other blessings such as the blessing of Mazal Tov and the like, and it is also permissible for others to wish the mourner, and it is also permissible to extend a hand when wishing each other.
  • Dorons should not be sent to mourn for thirty, and to mourn parents for the entire year of mourning.
  • On Purim, one should not send packages to the mourner, but the mourner should send even during Shabbat.

Washing clothes and wearing them:

  • A mourner is not allowed to wash or iron clothes, and others are also not allowed to wash and iron his clothes even if he does not wear them during Shabbat.
  • If he gave his clothes to the laundry before mourning, they are allowed to wash them.
  • Do not wear washed clothes during the seven days even if they were washed before mourning.
  • The members of the mourner's household (who are not mourners) are allowed to wash their clothes, and are also allowed to wear washed clothes.

Sitting on a chair:

  • Do not sit on a chair or bench, only on a chair lower than thirty cm or on pillows and mattresses is allowed.
  • The mourner does not have to sit all day only when the comforters are with him, and the rest of the day he is allowed to stand and walk around the house.

Haircut and shaving:

  • A man should not cut his hair and shave for the whole thirty years.
  • One must not cut one's nails with scissors or a nail clipper, either of one's hands or one's feet, during the thirty days, but it is allowed to cut one's teeth or one's hands, and it is also allowed to start cutting with a tool and finish with one's hands or one's teeth.

Leaving the house:

  • A mourner must not leave his home during Shabbat even for a mitzvah, and if it is not possible to arrange a minyan at his home for prayers, it is permissible to go to the synagogue and pray in public and say Kaddish.
  • When it is difficult for him to sleep in a place where the seven sit, he is allowed to go home at night when people are no longer on the streets.

Participation in celebrations:

  • Mourners are not allowed to participate in the joys during the thirty, and mourning for parents during the year of mourning and in the circumcision of his son or the circumcision of his children is allowed to participate even during the seven days.
  • There are cases where it is possible to participate in the joys during the mourning, and a rabbi should be consulted about this.

Lighting a candle:

  • It is customary to light a candle in the funeral home to lift up the soul of the deceased, the candle should be lit for the entire seven days even on Shabbat and Yom Tov.

Mirror cover:

  • It is customary to cover the mirrors in the funeral home, and some also cover people's photos.

Stand up for a person:

  • The grieving should not be faced by any important person but should be faced by a Torah scroll.
  • When the mourner stands, he must not be told to sit back.

Prayers:

  • It is a mitzvah to pray in the minyan in the house where the deceased died, and when it is not possible to pray there, such as if he died in the hospital, it is customary to pray in the place where the mourners sit for Shabbat.
  • The mourner does not put on tefillin on the first day of mourning.
  • It is customary for the mourner to pray in front of the pillar and say all Kaddish for eleven months.
  • One does not say "Tahnun" or "to the winner" in the mourning house, and some do not even say the verse "And I am my covenant", and likewise the priests do not raise their hands there, and on Rosh Chodesh they do not say "Hallel" there.
  • After morning and evening prayers (and some say after minachah) it is customary to say Psalm 19 in the Psalms, and on days when no supplication is said, Psalm 16 is said instead.

Secondary education:

  • It is customary to study mishnayat during the days of Shabbat in the house of mourning to uplift the soul of the deceased, and there are those who customarily study mishnayat chapters that begin with the name of the deceased and after that they study four mishnayat in chapter 7 from tractate Mikvath which are the letters n. that. from. the.,
  • And they say the prayer "Anna" and the mourner says Kaddish Darbanan.

Taking from the Hubble House:

  • Some people practice not taking things out of the house of mourning for the entire seven days, because of an evil spirit that lingers there.

Reading the Torah:

  • It is permitted to bring a Torah scroll to the funeral home to hear the Torah reading, and some insist that it be read at least three times.
  • The mourner does not go up to the Torah even when he is a priest or a Levite, but he is allowed to take out and put in a Torah book, and it is also allowed to honor him by raising and scrolling, and when he is honored by raising he is allowed to sit on the chair with the Torah book.
  • They say "God willing" after reading the Torah.

Various greetings:

  • A mourner is not allowed to sanctify the whitewash if there is time left to sanctify after the days of his mourning, and if there is no time left, he is allowed to go outside and sanctify but not say "peace be upon you".
  • He is allowed to say the blessing of "the rewarder", and he is also allowed to say the blessing of "that we have given life" on a new fruit, and the blessing of "the good and the benevolent".
  • The seventh day On the seventh day in the morning after the prayer, the mourners sit for a short time and comfort them, after which they are told to "get up".
  • Immediately after it, the mourners were allowed to do all the things that were forbidden to them during the seven days, because the day ends as a whole, and they are allowed to change the clothes they have torn.
  • For those who do not have comforters, and also on Shabbat when there are no comforters, the mourning stops while leaving the synagogue after the prayer.
  • It is customary on the seventh day to visit the cemetery on the grave, and say chapters of the Psalms and the prayer "Ana", and remember the soul of the deceased in the prayer "God is full of mercy" and if there is a minyan, they say Kaddish.
  • If the seventh day falls on Shabbat, go to the grave on Sunday.
  • Mourning on a holiday and on Shabbat: A Shabbat within the Shabbat does not stop the mourning, but the Shabbat is counted as the number of Shabbat since some mourning laws are practiced on this day.
  • Mourning laws in Parhasiya (which are open) are not practiced there, but Mourning laws in Sana'a are also practiced on Shabbat.

Saturday evening:

  • An hour and a quarter before sunset on Shabbat evening, it is permissible to sit on a chair and bench and wear shoes even if they are polished, and it is permissible for him to polish them.
  • Shabbat clothes: it is customary to wear Shabbat clothes, and it is also permissible to exchange washed whites and it is good that they be worn first, and it is also permissible to offer washed tablecloths on the tables.

Things in Sana'a:

  • Mourning of Devarim in Sana'a is also practiced on Shabbat, and therefore it is also forbidden on Shabbat to bathe and study the Torah and married life.

The prayers:

  • A mourner is allowed to leave his house on Shabbat to go to the synagogue. The mourner does not say "Thank you" before the Menachah, and at the Shabbat reception he only says "a psalm song for the Sabbath day", and the Mishna does not say "where do we light" but there are places that use to say everything, and do not change anything from every Shabbat.
  • If you pray at the funeral home on Shabbat at dawn, you say "Father of Mercy", and in the minachah you don't say the verse "And I prayed" and say "Your righteousness is right", and the mourner doesn't say "Blessings of my soul" in the winter days and not "Fathers Chapters" in the summer.

Reading the Torah:

  • The mourner does not read the Torah on Shabbat when mourning laws apply to him. And the mourner does not go up to the Torah even if he is a priest or a Levite, and if there is no other priest or Levite there, it is good to leave the synagogue when the priest or Levite is called to go up.
  • But it is allowed to respect it by spending and bringing in and raising and scrolling. After the reading of the Torah, the soul of the deceased is remembered in the prayer "God is full of mercy", and even on Shabbat they bless the blessing of the month that other dead people are not mentioned at that time.
  • It is permissible on Shabbat to repeat the parasha "two reading and one translation" and if the seventh day of his mourning is on Shabbat, he should wait to repeat until after leaving the synagogue before eating.
  • Some also allow to study Rashi's interpretation for those who are used to it every Shabbat.

The meal:

  • The mourner does not say "Shalom Aleichem" at the Shabbat night meal, and also in places where it is customary to bless the sons on Shabbat night, they do not bless them on this Shabbat.

Saturday night:

  • After Shabbat ends, the mourner will say "Blessed is He who distinguishes between the holy and the profane" without a name and kingdom, and then he will change his clothes into sand clothes and take off his shoes.
  • There are places where it is customary not to say the verse "Vehi Noam" in the evening prayer. After the prayer, they say Psalm 16 in the Psalms. Havdalah: If the mourner separates, he does not say the verses "Here is the God of my salvation, etc.", but begins immediately with blessings, and the custom also blesses the heavens.
  • Cessation of mourning on the holiday If a relative passed away and was buried before the holiday and who mourned before the holiday even for a short time, the holiday cancels the mourning laws of Shabbat from him.

A holiday is called for this matter, three legs Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot, as well as Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

  • The eve of the holiday: It is allowed on the eve of the holiday after midnight to wash one's clothes, but they will not wear them only at night, and some people only wash close to the evening.
  • Bathing is also allowed in hot water after the minachah prayer close to evening, as well as other mourning customs.
  • On the eve of Pesach, everything is allowed from midnight, that day is like a holiday for everything. On the eve of Yom Kippur it is permissible to bathe and immerse near the evening even before the Mincha prayer, and it is permissible for him to go to the synagogue for the Mincha prayer, and he is also permitted to eat a break meal on a chair and a bench.

Number of thirty:

  • At Pesach, the mourning before Passover and Passover is considered to be fourteen days for the amount of the thirtieth, and after Passover only sixteen days need to be completed for the payment of the thirtieth. And in the weeks after the holiday, only sixteen days should be completed.
  • In Sukkot, the mourning before it and the Sukkot holiday and the eighth assembly are counted as twenty-one days, and after the holiday, another eight days are added to pay the thirtieth. On Rosh Hashanah one should observe thirty mourning periods only until Yom Kippur, and Yom Kippur cancels thirty mourning periods from it, and likewise on Yom Kippur one observes thirty mourning periods until the holiday of Sukkot and the holiday of Sukkot cancels thirty mourning periods.

Mourning break thirty:

  • If the seven days of his mourning end before the holiday, and even if they end on the eve of the holiday in the morning, the holiday cancels all thirty days of mourning from him.
  • It is permissible to get a haircut, shave, and bathe close to the evening after the minachah prayer, and when there is a great need, it is possible from midnight, on Passover eve, it is permissible to get a haircut and shave before midnight as well. Those mourning the death of their parents are forbidden to cut their hair and shave only thirty days after the burial.
  • Mourning during the holiday and on the days of the funeral year: before the funeral on the holiday, the mourner changes his clothes to holiday clothes and tears them, after the funeral they make a "row" as usual, only the mourner does not take off his shoes, and after the funeral he changes his clothes to holiday clothes again.

tearing:

  • There are communities that practice that all the relatives tear on the holiday, and there are communities that practice that only those who mourn their parents tear, and the rest of the relatives only tear after the holiday.
  • All the relatives greet the blessing of "Dayan Amma" on Hol Homoed.

Healing meal:

  • You don't eat a recovery meal on Yom Tov, but on Hol Moed you eat while sitting on regular chairs, and you don't eat hard-boiled eggs as usual, only various foods and the like.
  • There are communities that practice that only those who mourn parents eat a recovery meal, but not for other relatives.

mourning:

  • He does not practice any mourning on the holiday of Parhasiya (openly), but he practices mourning in Sana'a and therefore it is forbidden in bathing and in married life, on the eve of the last Yom Tov it is permissible to bathe in hot water and wear washed clothes.

thirty:

  • The days of the holiday are among the thirty days of mourning, so the thirty days end after thirty days from the burial. The words of mourning that are customary in the days of the thirties are also customary in Hol Homoed.

Lighting a candle:

  • The candle that is used to be lit on the days of Shabbat, should also be lit on Hol Moed and Yom Tov, even though there are no "sheba" people sitting then.

Finders of the holiday:

  • At the end of the holiday, seven days of mourning begin for the seven days of the holiday.

Purim:

  • Purim does not stop mourning as a holiday, but there is no mourning on it in the parhasiya (openly), not on the 4th of Adar Goel in the 12th between towns surrounded by a wall and between towns that are closed.
  • Mourning in the Deuteronomy at Sana'a is also practiced on Purim, therefore it is forbidden to bathe, to study the Torah, and in married life. The days of Purim are among the mourning days of Shiva.
  • It is allowed to change one's clothes to holiday clothes, but one should limit the kind of joy that is done. On the night of Purim if he can arrange a minyan at his home for prayer and reading the scroll, he will pray and read the scroll at home, and if it is not possible he is allowed to go to the synagogue, on the day he is allowed to go to the synagogue even if he can arrange a minyan at home.
  • On Purim, all the relatives are torn, and after the funeral, he changes his clothes to holiday clothes. Eat a healing feast, but not hard-boiled eggs as usual, only in various foods and the like.
  • The mourner is obliged to have a Purim meal and to send portions and gifts to the bereaved, but he shall not send things intended for joy, but one does not send to mourners a shipment of portions all thirty, and to mourners for their parents every twelve months also things that are not intended for joy.

Tisha B'av:

  • On Tisha B'Av, the mourner is allowed to go to the synagogue at night and during the day until the end of saying "Kinot", and he is allowed to go to the Torah even during Shiva.
  • Comforting the mourners is a great mitzvah to comfort the mourners, and it precedes the mitzva "visiting the sick", because comforting the mourners is giving kindness to the living and the dead.
  • The comforters are not allowed to start speaking words of comfort until the grief begins earlier, it is not enough to console them, one only needs to speak good things to them until they are happy.
  • When he enters and when he leaves he does not say "Peace", and when he gets up to leave he says "The place will comfort you" (many say you) among the rest of the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem" and the mourner answers Amen.
  • Some practice that there are no comforters for the first three days, and some are not strict about this.

Rumor of the death of a relative Rumor of a relative:

  • A relative who did not learn of the death of his relative at the time of the death and swearing, and he learned later at the end of the thirtieth or on the thirtieth day of the death, his rumor is called a "close rumor".
  • In the event of a close hearing, the mourner must observe mourning for thirty-seven days from the day of hearing.
  • Distant rumor: If the rumor reached him after thirty to die even on the night of the thirty-first, his rumor is called a "distant rumor". In a distant rumor, he does not practice mourning for only a short time, and even then he does not practice all the laws of mourning, only one act of mourning is enough, such as taking off his shoes or sitting in a low chair, and immediately afterwards he can put on his shoes or get up from the chair.
  • within the period from time to time to his hearing, and if he does not bless within the period from time to time he does not bless again.
  • At the news of the death of parents one has to tear all one's clothes to the world. He is not required to eat a recovery meal. If he hears on Shabbat or Yom Tov, he does not follow any mourning custom, not even the words of Sana'a.
  • If you don't wear mourning during the hearing, you should make up for it later. Mourners for parents must pay 12 months of mourning until the end of the year from the death.

Charge Notice:

  • There is no obligation to inform relatives that they have died. And as long as they don't know, there are no mourning charges on them.
  • Therefore, even those who know are allowed to invite them to a wedding feast and other joys. If they ask, don't lie to them and say he's still alive.
  • Male sons, the custom is to inform them of the death of their parents so that they say "Kaddish".
  • On holidays as well as on Purim, they should not be notified because of preventing joy.

The thirties:

  • After the seven days of mourning, there are still twenty-three more days until the end of thirty days, and some things of mourning are practiced during them.
  • Do not get a haircut or shave, and also do not take your nails with a tool. Bathing is also allowed in hot water, the Ashkenazis customarily do not bathe in hot water all thirty.
  • When wearing washed clothes, one should first let the other wear them for a little while and then he is allowed to wear them. And there are practices that if they are placed on the floor or if the folds are spoiled, it is considered as if they are wearing another perfume, and it is allowed to wear them.
  • Do not wear new clothes, and where necessary it is permissible to wear perfume for two or three days, and also do not wear Shabbat clothes in the sand.
  • He should not marry a wife under the age of thirty, and if a wedding was arranged before, mourning and he is single is allowed.
  • Matchmaking is allowed even during Shabbat, and even on the day of death.

The thirtieth day:

  • It is customary on the thirtieth day to visit the cemetery on the grave and say chapters of the Psalms and the prayer "Ana" and remember the soul of the deceased in the prayer "God is full of mercy" and when there is a minyan they say Kaddish.
  • If the thirtieth day falls on Shabbat, immigrate on the following Sunday.

Erection of a tombstone:

  • It is an ancient Israeli custom to place gravestone On the grave of the dead, which is called "nefesh" in the language of the Sages, it is customary to write short words on it that symbolized his personality and likeness, as well as the name of the deceased and the name of his father, both male and female. In the Mizrahi testimony, it is customary to write his name and the name of his mother between a male and a female, and also write The date of his death is in the Hebrew date, and no foreign date should be written.
  • At the end of the tombstone it is customary to write T. N. C. on. the. Which means his soul will be bundled in the bundle of life.
  • Some people practice eulogy when erecting the headstone, so they tend not to erect the headstone on days when eulogy is not performed.
  • The time of its establishment: in most places it is customary to erect the tombstone on the thirtieth day, so it is advisable to order it immediately after the seventh day because it takes time to prepare it, and some customarily erect a tombstone at the end of the year.

year of mourning:

  • Those who mourn their parents practice some mourning for twelve months, out of respect for father and mother. Even in a leap year, he practices mourning for only twelve months, and in the thirteenth month he does not practice any mourning. The twelfth month is counted from the day of burial.

Mourning:

  • Do not participate in celebrations such as marriage feasts and circumcisions and the like. There are cases in which it is permissible to participate in them, so in any case a rabbi should be consulted.
  • Do not wear new clothes, and where necessary let someone else wear them for two or three days first and then it is allowed to wear them.
  • Also, do not wear Shabbat clothes on weekdays. One has to change the place of his meeting in the synagogue, on Shabbat there are practices that cannot be changed.
  • When he mentions a rumor in the name of the deceased, he will say "Harini is the atonement of his soul" (and his mother is lying). After 12 months, his memory will be blessed.
  • Some practice throughout the year studying Mishnayat and going up to the Torah in the "Maftir" climb.
  • Saying Kaddish It is customary for boys to say Kaddish on the death of their parents for eleven months from the day of burial, and it is written in the midrashim of the great virtue of saying it, and that by this his father and mother were redeemed from Hell.
  • There is testimony that it is customary to say Kaddish twelve months less a week. Kaddish is also said on Shabbat and Yom Tov.
  • The main benefit of saying it is by the son, and if the deceased does not have a son or it is not possible for the son to say it, one is hired to say Kaddish, and the person hired should say every day in the morning before the prayer that all the Kaddish he says today will be for the upliftment of the soul of such and such a son, "Vehi Noam" etc. .
  • If the son can pray in front of the pillar, he also prays in front of the pillar for the eleventh month, except for Shabbat and holidays.
  • The prayer before the pillar is more important than saying Kaddish. On the day when Kaddish is said, it is customary to go up to the Torah.

Anniversary (Memorial Day):

  • Preceding Shabbat: Some practice on the Shabbat before Memorial Day to go up to the Torah for Aliyat "Maftir" and pray in front of the pillar in prayers and say Kaddish after "Psalm for the Sabbath" on Shabbat night, and Kaddish Darbanan after the prayer, and pray in front of the pillar in Arabic on Shabbat evening.
  • Remembrance Day: It is customary for the son to pray in front of the column on Remembrance Day for his parents in all prayers and say all Kaddish, if he did not say Kaddish on Remembrance Day, he will say it in the following evening prayer.
  • It is customary to go up to the Torah, and if the day of remembrance falls on the days in which the Torah is not read, there are people who go up to the Torah on the days before it.

Lighting the candle:

  • It is customary to light a candle that will be lit from time to time on Memorial Day. Some light the candle at home, and some light it in the synagogue.

Secondary education:

  • It is customary to study Mishnah for the upliftment of the soul of the deceased, and the custom is to study Mishnah chapters that make up the name of the deceased, and then learn the last four Mishnah from chapter 7 of the treatise Mikvath which begin with the letters N. that. from. the. And after that they say the prayer "Ana" and the boys say "Kaddish Darbanan".
  • And when there are no sons they say Kaddish other relatives.

Prostration on the grave:

  • It is customary to go up to the cemetery to visit the grave, and say chapters of the Psalms and the prayer "Ana" and remember his soul in the prayer "God is full of mercy".
  • And when there is a minyan they say Kaddish.

Mourning customs:

  • It is customary not to participate in a wedding celebration on Memorial Day.

His time:

  • The day of remembrance is on the day of death and not on the day of burial even in the first year, and if his burial is delayed by two or more days, there are those who practice in the first year to set the first day of remembrance on the day of burial, and in the following years on the day of death.
  • If a person dies in Adar in a simple year, in a leap year some people customarily set the day of remembrance on Adar A, and some use it on Adar B, and some are strict about setting it on both.

You mentioned souls:

  • It is customary to mention souls in the "God is full of mercy" prayer in the first year on Saturdays throughout the year, and on the Saturday before Memorial Day.
  • The main benefit is in giving justification for the ascension of the soul. On the days when supplication is not said, no remembrance of souls is said.
  • Yazkor: Is it customary to pray the "Yazkor" prayer each one for the ascension of the souls of his parents and relatives in? Four chapters a year: on Yom Kippur, on the eighth of Atzeret, on the seventh of Pesach and on Shavuot.

Ascension to the grave:

  • In the first year, it is not customary to visit the grave except on the seventh and thirtieth days. It is customary to go to the grave on the seventh day of mourning, and on the thirtieth day, and on the memorial day of each year.
  • Some have a custom of not visiting the cemetery on Rosh Chodesh, Hanukkah, Purim and every month of Nissan during Hol HaMoed.
  • The blessing of "who created you": If he did not see the graves of Israel within 30 days, when he came to the cemetery he blesses: Blessed are you, the Lord our God, King of the world, who created you in righteousness, and raised and nurtured you in righteousness, and killed you in righteousness, and knows the number of all of you in righteousness, and will restore and revive you Blessed are you, God, who resurrects the dead, and then says "You are a hero" etc. "Until you raise the dead".

The order of the chapters of the Psalms:

  • It is customary in the Ashkenazi communities that when going to the grave on the day of the seventh or thirtieth wedding day or on the day of remembrance, to say there for the ascension of his soul these seven psalms: This is what they say in Psalm 19, the letters from the first name of the deceased and the letters N. that. from. E., and the "Ana" prayer, then his soul is mentioned in the "God is full of mercy" prayer, and when there is a minyan, Kaddish is said.

The sanctity of the cemetery:

  • In the cemetery, there is no frivolous behavior, such as eating and drinking, and you must not enter with immodest clothing and revealing your head. Do not step on graves and do not lean or sit on a grave.
  • Do not walk in the cemetery with a tefilin on your head, and also do not walk with an open half-face. At the end of the visit, it is customary to place a small stone on the grave in honor of the deceased for the sign and sign that befell his grave.
  • We shake hands when leaving the cemetery.
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