Inscription on a tombstone: meaning, tradition and what is forbidden to write

Epitaph on a gravestone is a central element in commemorating the memory of the deceased.
It is an emotional and important element, carefully chosen by the family, combining personal, cultural, and religious aspects. On this page, we will examine the principles of writing inscriptions on gravestones, provide examples of traditional phrasing, and clarify what should not be written according to law and tradition.

Gravestone Inscriptions – What is Written According to Jewish Tradition?

According to Jewish tradition, a gravestone inscription usually includes a standard format stating the name of the deceased, Hebrew dates of birth and death (often only the Hebrew date of death is written, as it is the date used annually for memorial ceremonies), and sometimes additional wording expressing their character, deeds, or relevant biblical verses.

Gravestone Inscriptions – Traditional Components

Initials “P.N.”
A Jewish gravestone inscription typically begins with the initials “P.N.”, an abbreviation for “Here lies” or “Here is buried.” This phrase indicates the resting place of the deceased.

Name of the Deceased:
The full name of the deceased, including the family name and sometimes the names of the parents, is a central part of the inscription. In some cases, the father's name is included (e.g., “son/daughter of so-and-so”).

Dates:
Dates usually include the day of birth (less commonly requested) and the day of death (used to determine the annual memorial date), typically in Hebrew dates and sometimes also in the Gregorian calendar. Emphasis is placed on the Hebrew date, though the Gregorian date may be added at the family’s discretion, either as a full date or just the years of birth and death.

Biblical Verses:
It is customary to include biblical verses related to the life or values of the deceased. Common examples include:

• “May his/her soul be bound in the bond of life” (from 1 Samuel 25)
• “Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring forth speedily” (Isaiah 58:8)

Short Description of the Deceased:
A personal description may include phrases such as “a man of kindness and truth,” “a lover of Torah and commandments,” “a woman of reverence,” or other defining traits. This description is usually personal and reflects the family’s feelings toward the deceased.

Ending with “T.N.Tz.B.H.”
At the end of the inscription, it is customary to write the initials T.N.Tz.B.H., an abbreviation of “May his/her soul be bound in the bond of life,” expressing the hope that the soul will find eternal rest in the afterlife.

Gravestone Inscriptions by Name

When choosing a gravestone inscription, the deceased’s name can be included in a respectful and meaningful way, along with dates and phrases expressing love, remembrance, and appreciation.

Gravestone Inscription Examples

• “A man of kindness and truth, loving people and bringing hearts together.”
• “A woman of valor who fears the Lord, devoted to her home and family.”
• “In memory of a man of excellence and a role model father, who walked in the ways of truth.”
• “May his/her soul be bound in the bond of life.”
• “Passed away on the 22nd of Kislev, 5772, and gathered to his/her ancestors.”

More examples can be found on our website.

What Is Not Allowed to Be Written on a Gravestone?

Although gravestone inscriptions allow for a degree of freedom of expression, they are subject to religious and legal limitations. The following should be avoided:

Disrespectful Inscriptions:
According to tradition and law, inscriptions must not include offensive or disrespectful statements about the deceased. All wording must be sensitive and respectful.

Symbols or Text Inconsistent with Jewish Tradition:
In Jewish cemeteries, it is customary not to include symbols or expressions that are not aligned with Jewish tradition, such as Christian symbols, pagan motifs, or non-religious elements.

Commercial or Promotional Content:
A gravestone should not be used as a platform for personal or business advertising. The inscription should remain dignified and focused solely on the memory of the deceased.

Excessively Private Information:
While inscriptions are personal, unnecessary sensitive details, private matters, or information that could harm the dignity of the family or the deceased should be avoided.

Choosing a Gravestone Inscription – The Process

Choosing an inscription is an emotional and sometimes complex process. It is recommended to consult with a local rabbi or the gravestone designer to select wording that aligns with tradition and the family’s sentiments. The inscription should be created with respect and sensitivity, reflecting the personal story of the deceased.

Steps in Selecting a Gravestone Inscription:

• Family Discussion – It is important to hold a family conversation and share feelings, memories, and traits of the deceased worth highlighting.
• Choosing the Wording – After the family agrees on the desired phrasing, decide whether to include verses, traditional expressions, or personal content.
• Approval with the Designer and Cemetery – Before engraving the gravestone, ensure the inscription is approved by the family and complies with local guidelines.
• Final Review and Approval – The final text should be reviewed and signed off to ensure no errors are present before engraving.

Summary

Gravestone inscriptions are a significant part of honoring a loved one’s memory, requiring careful thought in wording and phrasing. Jewish tradition includes basic elements such as P.N., T.N.Tz.B.H., Hebrew dates (to mark annual memorial days), and relevant verses, while still allowing for personal and family expression. It is important to maintain respectful, sensitive, and meaningful wording while adhering to the relevant guidelines.

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