Mourning customs and laws

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Death at home: A doctor must be called to the home to determine death and prepare a death certificate.

• In the event that an unnatural death is suspected, police permission must be obtained before burial.
• You must contact the Ministry of Health with a death certificate in triplicate, police clearance, and the deceased's ID card to obtain a burial permit.
• You must contact the nearest Hevra Kadisha with all the documents to coordinate the funeral date.
• Death in the hospital: The deceased's ID card must be prepared in order to receive a death certificate from the hospital.

In the event of death due to an accident, etc.: Police permission must be obtained.

• You must contact the Ministry of Health to issue a burial permit, along with a signed death certificate in triplicate and the deceased's identification card.
• Along with the documents, you should contact the nearest funeral home to coordinate the funeral date.
• The next of kin has the right to object to the autopsy.
• National Insurance Institute instructions:

burial:
– Burial in Israel is free of charge in the following cases:

• A resident of Israel, who died in Israel, and was buried in his place of residence.
• A resident of Israel, who died abroad, and was buried in his place of residence in Israel.

– Funding for funeral expenses is transferred to the Hevra Kadisha by the National Insurance Institute. – According to the law, in the following cases, the funeral home can charge a fee:

• Purchasing a grave plot while alive (according to the rates set by law. It should be noted that the rate varies from place to place).
• Burial in an exceptional plot (a plot that has been approved in advance by the National Insurance Institute as exceptional).
• A resident of Israel who has died and whose family wishes to be buried away from his place of residence.

Mourning customs:

Below are some of the mourning customs and traditions practiced by most Jewish communities.
The family members of the deceased to whom mourning laws apply are: father, mother, children, brother, sister, husband and wife.
After the death, a candle is lit in the house where the mourners sit for "seven days."

• It should be taken into account that in the cemetery, during the burial, a tear is made in the front of the upper garment worn by the mourner. This garment is not usually removed until the end of the "seven days."
• From the time of death until the funeral, the laws of indulgence apply to the mourners - the mourner is exempt from positive mitzvot until the burial.
• After the burial, these are the things that the mourner is prohibited from doing during the seven days of mourning: work, washing and polishing, wearing shoes, marital life, studying Torah, asking for forgiveness, washing and wearing clothes, sitting on a chair and bench, getting a haircut and shaving, leaving the house, and participating in celebrations.
• Mourners returning from the funeral customarily sit for shiva in the deceased's house, at a lower location than their usual seat.
• It is customary for neighbors to prepare a meal for the mourners upon their return from the funeral. This meal is called a convalescence meal.
• It is customary to say Kaddish for the deceased during the year of mourning from the day of death.
• At the end of the "Shiva" a tombstone must be ordered for the grave. Since preparing the tombstone is a lengthy process, the tombstone must be ready to cover the grave on the thirtieth day. It is customary to go up on this day for the "Tombstone Unveiling" ceremony.

Mourning customs until burial:

• All relatives of the deceased who are obligated to mourn for seven days are called Onanim from the time of death until after the burial.
• The mourner is exempt from all the mitzvot because he is preoccupied with the needs of the deceased and his burial, and also out of respect for the deceased, lest he be seen as someone who is distracted by him. Therefore, he does not recite the Shema, does not pray, and does not put on tefillin. He does not join the ten in the minyan, prayer, and recitation of Kaddish. If he is a priest, he does not raise his hands.
• When eating a loaf of bread, one washes his hands and does not recite the blessing "on washing hands." Likewise, one does not recite the blessing "Hamotzi" before eating, nor the "Blessing of Food" after it. Likewise, one does not recite the blessing when eating other things.
• He does not recite the blessing "Asher Yitzer" after relieving himself, nor does he respond "Amen" upon hearing a blessing or Kaddish.
• When he arrives at the cemetery, he does not recite the blessing "Who created you in righteousness."
• The mourner says Kaddish during the funeral.
• There are mourning customs that are practiced even while masturbating, and there are customs that are practiced only at the end of the act of masturbating.
• A masturbator is prohibited from eating meat and drinking wine, and he does not bathe, and he is not allowed to apply oil and external ointments to his body unless there is a medical need for it, and he is not allowed to cut his hair or shave.
• One should not participate in celebrations and is forbidden in married life.
• It is forbidden in Talmud to ask about the well-being of a person, but it is permissible to recite Tehillim in front of the deceased.
• It is permissible to leave the house to attend to the needs of the deceased, and it is also permissible to put on his shoes.
• Mourning in another city: A mourner who is in a different city from the place of the funeral and burial should consult with a rabbi to see if he practices the laws of bereavement and when mourning should begin.
• The impurity of the priest A priest is forbidden to become unclean by a dead person, meaning to come within four cubits of the place where the dead person is, or to enter a house where a dead person is found.
• If the deceased is one of seven relatives, it is permissible and commanded for the priest to defile himself.
• The seven closest relatives are: his father, his mother, his son and daughter, his brother, his sister and his wife. The priest is only impure when the deceased is whole, but if something is missing from him, he is forbidden to become impure.
• Even if what is missing is placed next to it or sewn together with the body, and therefore if a postmortem operation was performed on the deceased, his priestly relatives may not defile themselves for him.
• He is permitted to accompany the deceased, who is his relative, to the grave if there are no graves along the way within four cubits.

tearing

• All relatives are required to mourn for the deceased for seven days and must tear their hair.
• Before the tearing, the blessing is said: "Blessed are You, Lord God, King of the universe, Judge of truth."
• Before tearing, it is permissible to change one's clothes and wear plain clothes in which to tear.
• You have to tear it while standing, and if you tear it while sitting, you have to tear it again while standing.

Place of tearing:

• For all relatives, it is customary to tear the upper garment on the right side, and for parents, it is customary to tear all of their clothing on the left side, if the successor does not delay.

Tearing time:

• Some communities customarily tear at the time of the funeral, and some communities customarily tear at the time of the burial.
• During the seven days of fasting, one may not change his torn clothes, and where there is a need to change, it is permissible, except when tearing them at the hands of parents.
• Mourning for parents – one who changes clothes must tear the clothes he changed.
• If he did not tear it at the time of the funeral, he tears it within the seven days, and after the seven days, he is not obligated to tear it again.

Saturday and holiday:

• On Shabbat and Yom Tov it is forbidden to tear, on Hol HaMoed it depends on the custom of the communities, but one must bless the blessing of the true judge.

Fusion of the tear:

• All relatives are permitted to sew the torn area with a pin after seven days, and it is also permitted to sew it with a non-straight stitch, and after thirty days it is permitted to sew it as usual. Parents are permitted to sew it with a pin or sew it with a non-straight stitch only after thirty days, and sewing it as usual is never permitted.
• Women usually sew the torn area together immediately after tearing with a pin or a crooked stitch, even when they tore it on their parents, out of modesty.
• A funeral is a mitzvah to accompany the deceased, and it is generally a mitzvah to "love your neighbor as yourself" and to things whose fruits a person eats in this world and whose foundation exists in the world to come.
• Everything must be done to bring the deceased to burial that same day.

When accompanying the deceased:

• It is customary to recite chapters of Tehillim, especially Psalm 31, "Yoshev Besher Elyon," and at the funeral of a woman, chapter 31 of Proverbs is also recited, "A woman of valor." Among the Eastern Orthodox faiths, it is customary to recite "Ana Kouk Ha'am," "Who is a God like you?"
• It is customary at the time of a funeral to give charity for the elevation of the soul of the deceased and to say: I give this charity for the benefit of the soul that God, the Blessed, may save from all calamities and may merit to ascend to the exaltation of the righteous.
• Some people have a custom when passing by a synagogue with the deceased, to stand by the bed, and say the Mishnah, "Akavia ben Mahalalel says" (Pg. 3 Davot) and two verses from the Tsiduk of the Law, "The stone is pure, etc.," "The great counsel, and the great plot, etc.." After that, the sons or other relatives say Kaddish.

On the day of the burial:

• After the burial and the closing of the scroll, "Tsiduk Ha-Din" is said. On days when Tachanun is not said or when the burial is at night, it is not said, and after it, "Kaddish Ha-Gadol" is said. After the recitation of Kaddish, four cubits are removed from the graves, and the accompanying people stand in two rows, and the mourner takes off his shoes and walks between the rows, and those standing in the rows comfort him and say: "The place will comfort you (to many, you are called you) among the rest of the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." Also at a funeral on Chol Ha-Moed, a row is said, only the mourner does not take off his shoes.
• When returning from a funeral for the deceased, it is customary to pluck dirt and grass and throw them behind them, saying: "Remember that we are dirt," and then they wash their hands and do not wipe them.
• It is customary not to take the vessel for washing immediately after the person has finished washing; only the person who has finished turns the vessel over and the other person takes it.
• It is customary to accompany the mourners from the cemetery to their homes. A convalescent meal It is customary for neighbors to prepare the first meal for the mourner upon his return from the cemetery after the burial.
• It is customary to prepare round bread and hard-boiled eggs for the meal.
• On Shabbat eve and on Yom Tov after nine temporary hours, and on Pesach eve from the time of the prohibition on eating leaven, one does not eat a meal of recovery, and one does not eat until nightfall in mourning.
• On Hol HaMoed and Purim, a recovery meal is eaten while sitting on regular chairs, and one does not eat hard-boiled eggs, but rather various foods and coffee, etc.

Mourning laws after the deceased has been buried:

• The "pleasures" end and the "mournings" begin, and from this date thirty-seven and twelve months are counted.
• If the deceased was buried immediately after sunset (up to thirteen and a half minutes), that day can still be counted as a mourning day.
• After this time, the mourning count begins only the next day.
• If a relative of the deceased is not in the city at the time of the funeral and burial, a rabbi should be consulted about when to begin mourning.
• Who is mourned for: Parents, brother, sister, husband and wife mourn a child. A baby less than thirty days old who dies is not mourned for.

craft:

One is not allowed to do any work or deal with merchandise, except for household chores such as baking and cooking, washing dishes, and cleaning the house.
When a bereaved person has a shop or business, they should be closed for the entire week, and if he has a partner and by closing the business the partner will suffer a loss, he should consult with a rabbi about possible ways to open a business.

Washing and polishing:

• One should not wash the entire body, even in cold water. The face, hands, and feet are only permitted in cold water. For medical purposes, and on the orders of a doctor, it is permissible to bathe in hot water, even for a patient who is not in danger.
• A woman who has time to bathe during her days of mourning is prohibited from bathing, but is also permitted to bathe in warm water in the places necessary to wear white clothes for the seven days of cleanness.
• One should not anoint one's body with oil or ointment for pleasure, but to remove sweat or for medical purposes it is permitted.
• A woman may not wear makeup for the entire thirty years, except for a married woman after seven.
• A bride during the first month of her marriage to a girl who is in the process of being betrothed is permitted to wear makeup even during the shiva.

Locking of locks:

• Leather shoes are not to be worn, but rubber shoes (tennis shoes) or cloth shoes if they do not contain any leather parts are permissible.

marital life:

• Mourning is prohibited during the seven days, including Shabbat, in married life, and must be strictly observed in other relationships, such as hugging and kissing, and sleeping in the same bed.

Talmud Torah:

• One should not read the Torah, the Mishnah, the Gemara, the Laws and the Agadot during the entire seven days, including Shabbat, except for the Book of Job, Lamentations, and the like.
• Of course, it is permissible to study mourning laws and moral books.
• If you are accustomed to saying Tehillim every day, it is permissible when said in the form of prayer and supplication.

Hello question:

• One should not say hello to anyone during the seven days, and if a person who does not know that he is mourning asks how he is, during the first three days of mourning one should not answer him, only inform him that he is forbidden to answer, and after the three days it is permissible to answer.
• The mourner is permitted to wish his friend other blessings, such as the blessing of Mazal Tov, and the like, and others are also permitted to wish the mourner, and it is also permissible to extend a hand when wishing each other well.
• One should not send tributes to mourners during the thirtieth year, and to mourn parents during the entire year of mourning.
• On Purim, one should not send a meal to a mourner, but the mourner should send one even during the Shiva.

Washing and wearing clothes:

• A mourner may not wash or iron his clothes, and likewise, others may not wash and iron his clothes even if he does not wear them during the Shiva.
• If he gave his clothes to the laundromat before he mourned, they are permitted to wash them.
• One should not wear washed clothes during the Shiva, even if they were washed before mourning.
• The members of the mourner's household (who are not mourners) are permitted to wash their clothes, and are also permitted to wear washed clothes.

Sitting on a chair:

• Sitting on a chair or bench is not permitted; only a chair less than 30 cm high or on pillows and mattresses is permitted.
• The mourner is not required to sit all day, only when the comforters are with him, and the rest of the day he is allowed to stand and walk around the house.

Haircut and shaving:

• Abel should not get a haircut or shave for the entire thirty years.
• One may not cut one's nails with scissors or nail clippers, whether on the hands or feet, during the thirty days, but cutting with one's teeth or hands is permitted, and it is also permissible to start cutting with a tool and finish with one's hands or teeth.

Leaving home:

• The mourner may not leave his home during the shiva, even for the purpose of a mitzvah, and if it is not possible to arrange a minyan in his home for prayers, he must be permitted to go to the synagogue and pray in public and say Kaddish.
• When it is difficult for him to sleep in a place where the seven are sitting, he is allowed to go out to his house at night when people are no longer on the streets.

Participation in celebrations:

• A mourner may not participate in celebrations during the thirty days, and a mourner may participate in mourning for parents during the year of mourning, and in the circumcision of his son or in the wedding of his children, even during the seven days.
• There are cases where it is possible to participate in celebrations during mourning, and a rabbi should be consulted about this.

Lighting a candle:

• It is customary to light a candle in the house of mourning to honor the soul of the deceased. The candle should be lit throughout the entire week, including on Shabbat and Yom Tov.

Mirror cover:

• It is customary to cover mirrors in the house of mourning, and some also cover pictures of people.

To stand in honor of a person:

• The mourner does not have to stand before any important person, but he does have to stand before a Torah scroll.
• When the mourner is standing, one must not tell him to sit down.

Prayers:

• It is a mitzvah to pray with a minyan in the house where the deceased died, and when it is not possible to pray there, such as if the deceased died in the hospital, it is customary to pray in the place where the mourners are sitting for shiva.
• The mourner does not put on tefillin on the first day of mourning.
• It is customary for the mourner to pray before the pillar and say all the Kaddish for eleven months.
• They do not say "Tahnunon" or "Lamnetzach" in the house of mourning, and some do not even say the verse "And I am this my covenant," and likewise the priests do not raise their hands there, and on Rosh Chodesh they do not say "Hillel" there.
• After the morning and evening prayers (and some say after the evening prayer), it is customary to recite Psalm 49 of Tehillim, and on days when Tachanun is not recited, Psalm 16 is recited in its place.

Studying Mishnayot:

• It is customary to study Mishnayot during the seven days in the house of mourning for the soul of the deceased, and some people practice studying chapters of Mishnayot that begin with the name of the deceased, after which they study four Mishnayot from Chapter 7 of Tractate Mikva'ot, which are the letters N. S. M. H.,
• And they say the "Ana" prayer, and the mourner says Kaddish, the Rabbi.

Taken from the House of Mourning:

• Some people have a custom of not taking things out of the house of mourning for the entire week, because of the evil spirit that resides there.

Torah reading:

• It is permissible to bring a Torah scroll to the house of mourning to hear the Torah read, and some are careful to have it read at least three times.
• The mourner does not ascend to the Torah even if he is a priest or Levite, but he is permitted to take out and put in a Torah scroll, and he is also permitted to be honored by being raised and rolled up, and when he is honored by being raised, he is permitted to sit on the chair with the Torah scroll afterwards.
• They say "Yeh-e-Raz-on" after reading the Torah.

Various greetings:

• A mourner is not allowed to sanctify the moon if there is time left to sanctify after the days of his mourning, and if there is no time left, he is permitted to go outside and sanctify the moon, but he does not say "Peace be upon you."
• He is permitted to recite the blessing "HaGomel", and he is also permitted to recite the blessing "Shehachaynu" over new fruit, and the blessing "Hatov HaMatev".
• The Seventh Day On the seventh day, in the morning after the prayer, the mourners sit for a short time and console them, after which they are told to "rise."
• Immediately afterwards, the mourners were permitted to do all the things that were forbidden to them during the week, because a little of the day is like a whole day, and they were permitted to replace the clothing they had torn.
• For those who have no comforters, and on Shabbat, when no one comes to comfort them, mourning ends when they are on their way to the synagogue after the prayer.
• On the seventh day, it is customary to visit the cemetery and the grave, and recite chapters of Psalms and the "Ana" prayer, and remember the soul of the deceased with the prayer "God is full of mercy" and, if there is a minyan, recite Kaddish.
• If the seventh day falls on Saturday, they go to the grave on Sunday.
• Mourning on a holiday and on Shabbat: A Shabbat that falls within the seven days does not stop mourning, but Shabbat is counted towards the seven days, since some mourning laws apply on this day.
• The laws of mourning in public do not apply there, but the laws of mourning in Sana'a also apply on Shabbat.

Saturday evening:

• An hour and a quarter before sunset on Shabbat Eve, it is permissible to sit on a chair or bench and wear shoes even if they are polished, and it is permissible for him to polish them.
• Shabbat clothing: It is customary to wear Shabbat clothing, and it is also permissible to change into washed underwear, and it is better for someone else to wear them first, and it is also permissible to offer washed tablecloths on the tables.

Things in Sana'a:

• Mourning for things that are not in the Sana'a tradition is also practiced on Shabbat, and therefore it is forbidden on Shabbat to bathe, study Torah, and engage in marital life.

The prayers:

• A mourner is permitted to leave his home on Shabbat to go to synagogue. The mourner does not say "Hudo" before Mincha, and in the Kibbutzim of Shabbat he only says "Zimmor Shir for the Day of Shabbat," and he does not say the Mishnah "Bama Madlikim." However, there are places that practice saying everything, and do not change anything from the whole of Shabbat.
• If one prays in the house of mourning on Shabbat morning, they say "Av HaRahamim," and during the offering, they do not say the verse "And I am my prayer" and say "Your righteousness is righteousness," and the mourner does not say "Barekei Nafisi" during the winter or "Pirkei Avot" in the summer.

Torah reading:

• The mourner does not read from the Torah on Shabbat, when the laws of mourning apply to him. And the mourner does not ascend to the Torah even if he is a priest or a Levite, and if there is no other priest or Levite present, it is better for him to leave the synagogue when the priest or Levite is called to ascend.
• But it is permissible to honor him by going out and coming in, and by raising and rolling him. After the reading of the Torah, the soul of the deceased is remembered in the prayer "God is full of mercy," and even on Shabbat, when the blessing of the month is recited, no other dead are mentioned then.
• It is permissible to recite the parashah "Two readings and one translation" on Shabbat, and if the seventh day of mourning falls on Shabbat, one must wait to recite it until after leaving the synagogue before eating.
• Some allow those who are accustomed to studying Rashi's commentary to study every Shabbat.

The meal:

• The mourner does not say "Shalom Aleichem" at the Shabbat night meal, and likewise, in places where it is customary to bless the children on Shabbat night, they are not blessed on this Shabbat.

Saturday night:

• After the Sabbath is over, the mourner will say, "Blessed is He who distinguishes between the holy and the profane" without the name or title, and then he will change his clothes into profane clothes and take off his shoes.
• There are places where it is customary not to say the verse "And there was comfort" in the evening prayer. After the prayer, Psalm 16 of the Psalms is said. Havdalah: If the mourner makes a distinction, he does not say the verses "Behold, God is my salvation, etc.", but begins immediately with the blessings, and the custom is that the blessing is also said over the perfume.
• Cessation of mourning on the holiday: If a relative dies and is buried before the holiday, and he mourns even for a short hour before the holiday, the holiday cancels the seven-day mourning laws for him.

A holiday is called for this purpose, three days of Passover, Shavuot and Sukkot, as well as Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

• On the eve of the holiday: It is permissible on the eve of the holiday after midnight to wash one's clothes, but one should not wear them until the night, and some people have the custom of washing only towards evening.
• Bathing is also permitted in the evening after the evening prayer, as are other mourning customs.
• On the eve of Passover, everything is permitted from midnight onward, as the day is like a holiday in every way. On the eve of Yom Kippur, it is permissible to bathe and immerse oneself near evening, even before the Mincha prayer, and it is permissible to go to synagogue for the Mincha prayer, and it is also permissible to eat a break meal on a chair or bench.

The number of thirty:

• On Passover, the mourning before Passover and Passover is counted as fourteen days for the thirty-day count, and after Passover, only sixteen days need to be completed to complete the thirty. Likewise, on Shavuot, only sixteen days need to be completed after the holiday.
• On Sukkot, the mourning period preceding it, the Feast of Sukkot, and the Eighth of Atzeret are considered twenty-one days, and eight more days are added after the feast to complete the thirty days. On Rosh Hashanah, mourning period of thirty days should be observed only until Yom Kippur, and Yom Kippur cancels mourning period of thirty days, and likewise on Yom Kippur, mourning period of thirty days is observed until the Feast of Sukkot, and the Feast of Sukkot cancels mourning period of thirty days.

The end of mourning for thirty years:

• If his seven days of mourning end before the holiday, and even if they end on the eve of the holiday in the morning, the holiday cancels all thirty mourning customs from him.
• It is permissible to cut your hair, shave, and bathe near the evening after the Mincha prayer, and when there is a great need, it is possible from midnight on the day. On the eve of Pesach, it is permissible to cut your hair and shave even before midnight on the day. Those mourning the death of their parents are prohibited from cutting their hair and shaving until thirty days after the burial.
• Mourning on holidays and during the annual holidays: Funeral: Before the funeral on the day of the holiday, the mourner changes his clothes into everyday clothes and tears them up. After the funeral, a "row" is performed as usual, only the mourner does not take off his shoes, and after the funeral, he changes his clothes back into holiday clothes.

tearing:

• There are communities that have the custom of all relatives tearing on Chol HaMoed, and there are communities that have the custom of only those mourning their parents tearing, and the rest of the relatives tearing only after the holiday.
• All relatives recite the "Dayan Ha'amat" blessing on Chol HaMoed.

Healing meal:

• One does not eat a recovery meal on Yom Tov, but on Chol HaMoed one eats while sitting on regular chairs, and one does not eat hard-boiled eggs as usual, only various foods and the like.
• Some communities have a custom that only those mourning parents eat a get-well meal, but not for other relatives.

mourning:

• One does not practice any mourning in public on the holiday, but one practices mourning in public, and therefore is prohibited from bathing and from married life. On the eve of the last Yom Tov, one is permitted to bathe in hot water and wear washed clothes.

thirty:

• The days of the holiday are counted as days of mourning for thirty days, and therefore the thirty days end thirty days after the burial. The mourning practices that are practiced during the thirty days are also practiced on Chol HaMoed.

Lighting a candle:

• The candle that is customary to light on the days of Shabbat should also be lit on Chol HaMoed and on Yom Tov, even though one does not sit on Shabbat then.

Holiday dates:

• On the evening of the holiday, mourning sessions begin for seven days, lasting seven days from the holiday.

Purim:

• Purim does not stop mourning as a holiday, but there is no public mourning, not on the 14th of Adar, between walled towns and unwalled towns.
• Mourning in matters of the Sana'a is also practiced on Purim, and therefore it is forbidden to bathe, study Torah, and live a married life. The days of Purim are included in the number of seven mourning days.
• It is permissible to change into holiday clothes, but one should limit the kinds of joy one experiences. On the night of Purim, if he can arrange a minyan in his home for prayer and reading the Megillah, he should pray and read the Megillah in his home, and if that is not possible, he is permitted to go to synagogue. During the day, it is permissible to go to synagogue even if he can arrange a minyan in his home.
• On Purim, all relatives tear up, and after the funeral, they change into holiday clothes. They eat a convalescence meal, but not hard-boiled eggs as is customary, only various foods and the like.
• The mourner is obligated to have a Purim meal and to send gifts and offerings to the poor, but he should not send things that are meant for joy. However, those who mourn do not send gifts every thirty days, and those who mourn for their parents every twelfth month also send things that are not meant for joy.

Tisha B'Av:

• On Tisha B'Av, the mourner is permitted to go to the synagogue at night and during the day until the end of reciting "Kinot," and he is permitted to ascend to the Torah even during the shiva.
• Comforting the bereaved is a great mitzvah to comfort the bereaved, and it precedes the mitzvah of "visiting the sick," because comforting the bereaved is an act of kindness toward the living and the dead.
• The comforters are not allowed to begin speaking words of comfort until the mourning has already begun. It is not enough for the one being comforted to also speak good things to him until he is happy.
• When he enters and when he leaves, he does not say "peace," and when he rises to leave, he says, "May the place comfort you" (to many, they say "you") among the rest of the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem," and the mourner responds, "Amen."
• Some people practice not to comfort others during the first three days, and some do not adhere to this.

Rumor of the death of a relative. Rumor of a relative:

• A relative who did not learn of the death of his relative at the time of the death and the funeral, and who later learned of it at the end of the thirty days or on the thirtieth day of the death, is called "close relative."
• In the event of a close rumor, the mourner must observe mourning for thirty-seven days from the day of hearing.
• Distant rumor: If the rumor reaches him after thirty days of death, even on the night of the thirty-first, his rumor is called a "distant rumor." With a distant rumor, he does not observe mourning for only a short hour, and even then he does not observe all the laws of mourning. Only one act of mourning is sufficient, such as taking off his shoes or sitting in a low chair, and immediately afterwards he can put on his shoes or get up from the chair.
• Within the time period, for his hearing, and if he does not bless within the time period, he does not bless again.
• Upon hearing of the death of one's parents, one must tear all of one's clothes forever. He is not obligated to eat the meal of recovery. If he hears of the death on Shabbat or on a holiday, he does not observe any mourning customs, not even those of Sana'a.
• If one did not observe mourning at the time of hearing, it must be completed later. Mourners of parents are obligated to observe mourning for 12 months until the end of the year from the death.

Billing message:

• There is no obligation to inform relatives that a person has died. And as long as they are not informed, they have no obligation to pay any mourning fees.
• Therefore, even those who know are permitted to invite them to weddings and other celebrations. If they ask, one should not lie to them and say that he is still alive.
• It is customary for male children to be informed of the passing of their parents so that they will say "Kaddish."
• On holidays and Purim, they should not be announced, as this would prevent joy.

The thirties:

• After the seven days of mourning, there is still mourning for another twenty-three days until the end of thirty days, and some mourning practices are practiced during them.
• One should not cut one's hair or shave, and one should not use a utensil to clean one's nails. Bathing is also permitted in hot water, although Ashkenazim customarily refrain from bathing in hot water for the entire thirty days.
• When wearing washed clothes, one should first let someone else wear them for a short hour, and then he is permitted to wear them. Some people have a custom that if one places them on the floor or undoes the folds, it is considered as if one had worn another garment, and it is permitted to wear them.
• One should not wear new clothes, and if necessary, one is permitted to wear perfume for two or three days, and one should not wear Shabbat clothes on a holy day.
• A woman should not marry in her thirties, and if they arranged a wedding before mourning and he is single, it is permissible.
• Matchmaking is permitted even within the week, and even on the day of the death.

Day 30:

• On the thirtieth day, it is customary to visit the cemetery at the grave and recite chapters of Psalms and the "Ana" prayer, and remember the soul of the deceased with the prayer "God is full of mercy," and when there is a minyan, recite Kaddish.
• If the thirtieth day falls on a Saturday, the pilgrims arrive on the following Sunday.

Erection of a tombstone:

• An ancient Israeli custom to place gravestone On the grave of the deceased, which is called "nefesh" in the language of the Sages, it is customary to write on it short words that symbolize his personality and character, as well as the name of the deceased and the name of his father, whether male or female. Among the Eastern Jews, it is customary to write his name and mother's name, whether male or female, and also to write the date of his death in Hebrew, and not to write a foreign date.
• At the end of the tombstone, it is customary to write T. N. C. B. H., which means that his soul will be bound in the bundle of life.
• Some people have a custom of eulogizing when erecting a tombstone, and therefore they do not erect the tombstone on days when eulogizing is not done.
• Time of erection: In most places, it is customary to erect the tombstone on the thirtieth day, so it is advisable to order it immediately after the Sabbath, as it takes time to prepare, and some people have the custom of erecting the tombstone at the end of the year.

Year of mourning:

• Those mourning their parents observe some mourning for twelve months, out of respect for their father and mother. Even in a leap year, mourning is observed for only twelve months, and in the thirteenth month, no mourning is observed. The twelve months are counted from the day of the burial.

The mourning:

• One should not participate in celebrations such as weddings, circumcisions, etc. There are cases in which participation is permitted, and therefore one should consult a rabbi in each case.
• One should not wear new clothes, and if necessary, one should let someone else wear them for two or three days first, and then one may wear them.
• Likewise, one should not wear Shabbat clothes on weekdays. One must change one's place of sitting in the synagogue, on Shabbat there are customs that do not change.
• When mentioning a rumor in the name of the deceased, one should say, "I bear the atonement of his soul" (and his mother is buried). After the twelfth month, one should say, "May his memory be blessed."
• There is a custom throughout the year of studying Mishnayot and ascending to the Torah in the "Maftir" aliyah.
• Reciting Kaddish It is customary for sons to recite Kaddish upon the passing of their parents for eleven months from the day of burial, and it is written in the midrashim that the virtue of reciting it is great, and that by doing so, one's father and mother are redeemed from hell.
• There are denominations that customarily say Kaddish every twelfth month minus a week. Kaddish is also said on Shabbat and Yom Tov.
• The main benefit of reciting it is through the son, and if the deceased does not have a son or it is impossible for a son to say it, one hires someone to say Kaddish, and the person hired must say it every morning before the prayer. All the Kaddish that one says today will be for the soul of so-and-so's son, "And may there be peace," etc.
• If the son can pray before the pillar, he also prays before the pillar for the eleventh month, except on Shabbat and holidays.
• The prayer before the pillar is more important than the recitation of Kaddish. On the day when the recitation of Kaddish ceases, it is customary to go up to the Torah.

Anniversary (Memorial Day):

• The Sabbath before: Some people have a custom on the Sabbath before Memorial Day to go up to the Torah for the "Meftir" alijah and pray before the pillar in prayers and say Kaddish after the "Psalter for the Sabbath" on Shabbat night, and the Rabbinic Kaddish after the prayer, and pray before the pillar in Arabic on Shabbat night.
• Memorial Day: It is customary for the son to pray before the pillar on Memorial Day for his parents in all prayers and to say all the Kaddish. If he did not say Kaddish on Memorial Day, he will say it in the evening prayer that follows.
• It is customary to go to the Torah, and if Memorial Day falls on days when the Torah is not read, some people have the custom of going to the Torah on the days before.

Lighting the candle:

• It is customary to light a candle that will be lit at all times of Remembrance Day. Some people light the candle at home, and some light it in the synagogue.

Studying Mishnayot:

• It is customary to study Mishnayot for the sake of the deceased's soul, and it is customary to study chapters of Mishnayot that include the name of the deceased, and then study the last four Mishnayot from Chapter 7 of Tractate Mikva'ot, which begin with the letters N. S. M. H. After which the "Ana" prayer is said and the children say "Kaddish Drabnan."
• And when there are no sons, other relatives say Kaddish.

Prostration on the grave:

• It is customary to go to the cemetery to visit the grave, and recite Psalms and the "Ana" prayer, and remember his soul with the prayer "God is full of mercy."
• And when there is a minyan, they say Kaddish.

Mourning customs:

• It is customary not to participate in wedding celebrations on Memorial Day.

His time:

• Memorial Day is on the day of death and not on the day of burial, even in the first year, and if the burial is delayed by two or more days, there are those who have the custom of setting the first Memorial Day in the first year on the day of burial, and in subsequent years on the day of death.
• If someone dies in Adar in a common year, in a leap year, some people have the custom of setting the memorial day on Adar 1, some have the custom of setting it on Adar 2, and some are strict about setting it on both.

Mention of souls:

• It is customary to remember souls in the prayer "God is full of mercy" in the first year on Shabbats throughout the year, and on the Shabbat before Memorial Day.
• The main benefit is in giving charity for the elevation of the soul. On days when Tachanun is not said, the remembrance of souls is not said.
• Yizkor: It is customary to pray the "Yizkor" prayer for the repose of the souls of one's parents and relatives on four occasions a year: on Yom Kippur, on the seventh day of Passover, and on Shavuot.

Ascending to the grave:

• In the first year, it is not customary to visit the grave except on the seventh day and the thirtieth day. It is customary to go to the grave on the seventh day of mourning, and on the thirtieth day, and on the day of remembrance of each year.
• Some people have a custom of not visiting the cemetery on Rosh Chodesh, Hanukkah, Purim, and during the month of Nissan on Chol HaMoed.
• The blessing "Who created you": If he has not seen the graves of Israel within thirty days, when he comes to the cemetery he blesses: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who created you in righteousness, and created and sustained you in righteousness, and killed you in righteousness, and knows the number of you all in righteousness, and will bring you back and revive you in righteousness. Blessed are You, Lord, who quickens the dead, and then says "You are mighty," etc., "until you revive the dead."

Order of Psalms:

• It is customary in Ashkenazi communities that when going to the grave on the day of the seven or thirty days or on Memorial Day, these seven Psalms of Tehillim are recited there for the repose of his soul: 33, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, and then in Psalm 119, the letters of the deceased's personal name and the letters N. S. M. H. are recited, and the prayer "Ana" is recited. Afterwards, his soul is remembered in the prayer "El Mela Rachamim" and when there is a minyan, Kaddish is recited.

The sanctity of the cemetery:

• In the cemetery, one should not act frivolously, such as eating and drinking, and one should not enter in immodest clothing or with one's head uncovered. One should not step on graves and should not lean or sit on a grave.
• One should not walk in the cemetery with tefillin on one's head, nor should one walk with a veil open. At the end of the visit, it is customary to place a small stone on the grave in honor of the deceased as a sign and token that one has visited his grave.
• They shake hands when leaving the cemetery.