Ripping custom

The ceremony of tearing the lapel of the garment
Family and close friends gather in the interior of the funeral home, near the 'stage' from which the eulogies will be given.

• According to Israeli tradition, the priests among the attendants do not usually stand under the same roof with the deceased unless the deceased is their first-degree relative. Therefore, they are usually assigned a separate shed overlooking the main hall.
• In some places, there is a private communion room where you can spend a few moments and say goodbye to the deceased.
• If you would like to be alone, you can ask the members of the Shevardnadze to leave the room.

The deceased's face is usually revealed only to one family member, who is asked to identify the deceased and ensure that the right person is being brought to the burial. However, if you insist, most places will honor your request.

• Before the eulogies begin, the deceased's close family members (parents, husband/wife, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters) will be asked to approach the place where the deceased's bed is located, one by one, to perform the tearing ceremony.
• In some denominations, the tearing is not performed at the funeral home, but rather upon death (Yemenites) or only after burial (a few Eastern denominations). The tearing is, of course, conditional on your consent, and this step can be skipped if it causes you resistance and discomfort, in coordination with the Hevra Kadisha.
• It is worth knowing that the tearing ceremony may be particularly difficult for mourners, because the tearing is usually done in front of the deceased's bed.

The tearing ceremony is a traditional custom in which mourners tear a tear in their clothing, as a symbol of the tear or void created in their souls due to the feelings of pain over the passing of a loved one.

• The custom originates in the Bible, in the tearing that our forefather Jacob tore at his clothes while mourning for his son Joseph, whom he thought was dead (Genesis 37:34).
• During the Talmudic period, mourners would tear a tear in their own clothing as soon as they saw or heard news of the death.
• Today, most denominations customarily perform the tearing at the funeral home.
• The cutting is usually performed by one of the members of the Hevra Kadisha (if possible, a man for men and a woman for women), although it is possible for one of the relatives or friends to do it.
• The tear is made in the upper garment (shirt) above the chest. In mourning for parents, the tear is made on the left side (where the heart is), and in mourning for other relatives – on the right side.
• The tear should be significant, about eight and a half centimeters (3.5 inches), and is made with a knife, not scissors. Typically, the person from the Hebra Kadisha will tear only the beginning of the tear, and the mourners will enlarge it by pulling the flap of the torn garment from top to bottom.
• The mourner stands on his feet (if possible) during the tearing, and afterwards recites the blessing that justifies the judgment – ​​for the good and the bad in it: "Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the universe, Judge of truth."

If the death occurred on a holiday, and the Shabbat was postponed until after the holiday, some people also postpone the keria until the beginning of Shabbat. Some people even practice keria for the death of a father or mother on Chol HaMoed, and some people also practice keria for other relatives on Chol HaMoed.

• It is customary for the torn shirt to not be replaced and to remain on the mourner's body throughout the seven days of mourning.
• If the tear is too large, it can be reduced with a safety pin, but it should not be sewn up until after the seven days of mourning, and it must be visible as a symbol of mourning.
• After the mourning period is over, some people sew up the torn shirt and put it back to use (in mourning for parents, it is not customary to repair the tear), while others throw it away.

From the Hevra Kadisha website.